


Dead Hearts Are Everywhere

by flung0ut0fspace



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Post-Finale, Some Fluff, gay longing, jamie x dani reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27001405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flung0ut0fspace/pseuds/flung0ut0fspace
Summary: 40 years later, Jamie's time has finally come. And Dani can't wait to see her.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 26
Kudos: 682





	Dead Hearts Are Everywhere

“Ouch! Damnit.” Jamie swore aloud to herself. In her anxious haste to arrange the roses to her liking, she managed to prick herself on a thorn, like a novice gardener.

The pricked finger joined a singed thumb that she had just managed when lighting a candle with a flimsy Bic lighter. 

“Are you okay?” came the voice of Dani from the bedroom.

“Yeah! Don’t come out yet!” Jamie called back.

She finished running the lightly bleeding finger under some warm water and turned off the faucet. At last, she could look up and take in her work: their living room, normally the scene of movie nights, quick dinners, rainy day book reading, napping, and the more-than-occasional fool around, transformed into a magical secret indoor garden. Jamie had adorned every surface with flora, all of Dani’s favorite flowers, and her own, arranged together and all around, as if the flower shop had somehow overgrown into their apartment, ivy and blossoms cascading down bookshelves, over the mantle, along the windowsills. Candles dotted the room to give light, along with a sweet string of fairy lights strung up around the ceiling. 

It was a wonder to behold, Jamie’s proudest work yet. And the most important part was that it had to be a surprise. For tonight there was to be a wedding. And if the guests were only to be plants, Jamie needed them looking their best. She certainly had made the effort, wearing a simple, cream-colored linen shirt and light brown trousers.

Not the only one with a surprise, Dani had banished herself to the bedroom for the better part of the afternoon and evening so that she could fix herself into the bride she had always hoped to become. So little of their life was traditional, but they thought some things were still worth being old fashioned about. And so Dani insisted Jamie not see her until the moment arrived.

“Okay,” Jamie said, loud enough for Dani to hear, her eager smile growing. “I think we’re ready.”

“What?” Dani called from the bedroom. Jamie chuckled.

“I said I think we’re ready!”

“Who’s we? I’m missing an earring!” Dani called back, exasperated. Jamie, already getting emotional, laughed.

“Leave it, love! Before I set the smoke alarms off out here.” 

“Ugh, all right fine. It has to be in here somewhere, though.”

“I’m sure you look beautiful,” Jamie said decidedly, moseying away from the sink. She stood where the hallway met the living room and waited patiently for the closed door at the opposite end to open. Finally, it did.

“You think so?” Dani asked sheepishly, stepping into the hallway. Jamie’s eyes filled with tears instantly at the sight of her. 

The dress was simple, off-white, vintage. Long and lacy with flowing sleeves. In her loosely braided hair, a flower crown. She looked like some sort of ethereal princess of the woods. Perhaps even, though Jamie dared not let the thought linger long, a lady of the lake. But one thing was certain, she was radiant.

“I’m…” Jamie began, not even knowing what she was trying to say, and so she settled on, “Holy wow.”

“Wow yourself,” Dani answered, beaming, her eyes shining with tears. She made her way down the hall, something approaching a walk down the aisle.

As soon as her eyes found the living room, Dani’s mouth fell open.

“It’s not quite an open field in England or Vermont surrounded by our nearest and dearest, but…I hope it’ll do in a pinch.”

“Jamie, it’s…”

Dani looked to her partner, whom she already called her wife, and kissed her. Jamie laughed against her lips at the suddenness of it.

“Hey now, don’t we have a few bits to get through before that?”

“Who’s gonna tell on us,” Dani replied wryly, kissing her again.

As Jamie led them both to the cushions she’d laid out on the living room floor, she felt a strange and sudden feeling, like a chill, but in her mind. A flash, like deja vu. She’d been here before, or at least that’s how it felt. She shook it off as quickly as it came, though, assuming it was just the remembrances of her dreams of this moment, all these years in the making.

In the fireplace sat two unlit candles, one for each bride. Neither of them were particularly religious, and so they had agreed upon an invented ceremony. Their witness wasn’t God, it was Spirit, all the souls that watched over them, keeping the dark one at bay. Though neither said it, they both felt Hannah in the room with them, her comforting, protective presence.

The women knelt on cushions in front of the fireplace, taking a candle each. They looked up to find the other’s tearful gaze staring back at them. Jamie marveled as the candlelight danced against Dani’s eyes, only to notice…they were both blue, as they had been when they first met. Jamie assumed it was a trick of the light and shook her head clear.

“Who goes first?” Dani asked. Jamie laughed at how ill-prepared they suddenly felt, even after weeks of planning.

“I’ll go. Or…I’ll try, look at me, I’m already a mess,” Jamie said despite herself. Dani giggled.

Jamie cleared her throat and straightened her back.

“Dani. My darling Poppins. I’ve always been one to either keep her mouth shut or let it run on and on. Hard to find an in-between. And I’ve spent the last few weeks fretting over these vows, thinking I had to use up all my words to tell you how I felt. But then I thought…you know them all already. There’s nothing left to say. You know me more than I know myself. And I think…all I want to tell you, all that matters, the real…the real point of it all. Is just to say that…loving you is the greatest thing I’ll ever do in my life. And your love…there’s nothing better in the world. How lucky I am to call you my wife. I love you. That’s all there is. I love you.”

Jamie wept. And suddenly, that strange feeling returned. Because in her weeping, she felt not only the joy of the promise she was making, but a deep, aching pain. A sudden and devastating longing that took over her entire body. Her weeping turned to sobs.

Dani observed her, her eyes full of sympathy and care, but no tears to match. She reached out a hand, lifting Jamie’s chin up to look at her.

“What is this? What’s happening?” Jamie sobbed. Dani offered only a quiet, mournful smile. 

“Just breathe, baby.” Dani soothed. Jamie calmed herself down. As she did, she glanced around the room, at Dani, and soon an understanding began creeping in.

“I’m…this is a memory, isn’t it?” she finally asked. Dani gave a gentle nod.

“But are you…you? Are you here? Are you here to see me? To take me with you?” Jamie asked hurriedly.

Dani’s face fell.

“No. I’m sorry. But you understand. I know you do. You always understand.”

“Because you’re not really you. If this is a dream, or a memory or whatever the hell it is. You’re just me. You’re not her. You’re something else.”

“I’m what you’ve kept alive. I’m Dani as you see her, as you’ve always seen her. I’d say that’s the most beautiful version of her there is.”

“But it’s not real,” Jamie sobbed, angry again to be taunted by the presence of her love and yet still unable to join her.

“Jamie, listen to me. I’m here for a reason. You’re here for a reason.”

Dani looked to Jamie, her blue eyes imploring. 

“Why? What’s the reason. Tell me.”

“You know. It’s almost time.”

Jamie’s face relaxed as she came to, her awareness growing more and more within this dream, this memory. This wasn’t Dani’s ghost, but it was the closest she had ever gotten to her. 

“How…how old am I?” Jamie asked.

“40 years from this memory,” Dani replied.

“That’s right. And Flora and Miles…”

“Caring for you right up until the end. You’re in good hands.”

“Right.”

A quiet settled between them as Jamie looked around the inside of her memory.

“This was an amazing night, wasn’t it?”

But Dani just smiled back, her eyes more empty by the second.

“Right. You’re not her.” Jamie reminded herself.

“No. I'm sorry. But I’m here to tell you…she’s waiting. And she is… _so_ excited to see you.”

As Jamie opened her mouth to answer this news, the room around her began to fade. The candlelight burned together, the flowers merged into a wash of color, consuming the image of Dani with them.

————

“Aunt Jamie?” came a swallowed voice somewhere above. “Aunt Jamie, are you awake?”

Jamie’s eyelids fluttered open to see Flora, now a grown woman, standing above her, gently waking her.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but Nadya needs you to take your medication. And maybe try to eat a little dinner if you can.”

Jamie came out of her fog as best she could, though the memories and the present were blurring together more and more as she came closer to the end. Her nurse, Nadya, helped her sit up, her body weathered but still strong enough to walk, she could feel every muscle.

Sitting up, she realized she was not in a hospital. The bedroom felt grand, the walls painted dark.

“Am I…surely I’m not at Bly, am I?” she asked, trying to ground herself. Flora looked to her with a pity she tried not to resent.

“No, Aunt Jamie. This is your house. In Maine. You’re warm in your own bed, and you’re not going anywhere else, I promise. Now, let’s try to eat something.”

Outside, the sun was beginning to set. She must have slept through the afternoon, maybe a whole day. She felt in her body that things were quieting down, shutting down. Nothing gave her pain, it was just the great unwinding. An experience she had hoped to share alongside her wife, but at least she was cared for by Flora.  
“How is she?” came a man’s voice entering the room. It was Miles. Flora stood and moved to him, near the door, mistakenly thinking themselves out of earshot.

“She thinks she’s at Bly. She seems…foggy.”

“Well that’s to be expected. The morphine.”

“It’s more than that. Every time she sleeps…she calls out for Dani. It’s not…distressed, exactly, but…”

“Dani? You mean from her story? The lady of the lake?” Miles asked incredulously.

“Be kind, Miles. It was her wife. You know that.”

Miles looked to Jamie with that same pity she’d seen on Flora.

“Poor woman.”

Jamie swallowed her pills and took a bite of the toast in front of her, pretending she hadn’t heard the children’s conversation as they approached her.

“Can we get you anything, Aunt Jamie?” Miles asked, coming to sit at her bedside. “I can turn the television on if you like, or find a book to read to you?”

“Have you run my bath?” Jamie asked. No matter how feeble she became, however much strength or mental acuity left her, she never wavered in this. Every night a bath was run and her door left ajar.

Miles and Flora looked to each other.

“We haven’t. I’m sorry, Aunt Jamie, I know it’s important to you but your doctor is concerned about you being in the tub alone.”

“But I have to be alone. She won’t come if I’m not alone. She doesn’t want to scare anyone or invite herself into anyone.”

Miles and Flora looked to each other, uncomfortable, sympathetic, trying to find a way to ease what sounded to them the ravings of a dying old woman.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Jamie,” Miles answered softly, taking her hand. Jamie held it tight, looking to him with pleading tearful eyes as the words of her dream Dani rang through her.

_She’s waiting. And she is so excited to see you._

“Please, Miles. Please.”

Miles looked to Flora, who looked to Nadya.

“I’ll be right outside the door,” the nurse replied.  
Miles and Flora helped Jamie to her feet, but the elderly woman, after years of physical work, was still strong enough to walk the distance on her own steam. 

She made her way into the attached washroom and shut the door behind her. With effort, she sank to her knees and began running a bath, staring into the water as it rose, and rose, and rose, and…nothing.

Minutes passed, maybe an hour. Miles and Flora knocked once or twice to check in on her. 

But Jamie stared and stared into the reflection, trying as she had every night of her life to will Dani’s presence to her. Had the dream been a lie? Was she to leave this earth and enter into darkness, nothingness? Was that all this was leading to? 

Jamie, tearful and angry, brought her fist down into the water, casting a splash over the edge of the tub.

“Are you all right?” came Nadya’s worried voice.

“Yes,” Jamie answered, trying to measure her tone.

“Please, please come. I’m ready. I know I am. Please don’t let me go alone,” she pleaded into the empty water.

Jamie let herself weep into the draining tub, adding to it her tears. Finally she stood, helpless, hopeless, resigned to face the end of her life, but not ready. Not at peace. For peace only came from her love, and she had learned to live without it, and so she would learn to die without it.

But then, a flash.

As she stood to turn the light off, she caught her own reflection in the mirror over the sink. It was only a second, barely, but she swore she saw it. The brown and blue eyes. A shock of blonde hair, a gentle smile that hid a toothy grin beneath it. But just as soon as it appeared, it was gone.

Jamie wanted to curse at how quickly it had faded, but she was too overwhelmed. It worked. After all these years. A sign. It was enough.

She emerged into the bedroom, shell-shocked and almost giddy. Miles and Flora could see it in her face. But soon, the look was replaced with something softer, something quieter. And as Nadya tucked Jamie into bed, leaving her with these two children whom she knew better than they knew themselves, Miles and Flora somehow understood they were about to say goodbye.

“Are you comfortable?” Flora asked, tucking her blanket around her tighter. Jamie nodded.

“Do you need anything more?” Miles asked, trying to fight back tears.

“No, love. Thank you,” she squeezed his hand in hers. Flora took her other hand. The three sat there silently together as Jamie felt her eyelids grow heavy, as darkness crept over the sky outside.

As peace and slumber found her, Jamie felt a comforting hand on her arm. She glanced over and there, sat beside a weeping Miles, was Hannah, offering a warm, soothing smile.

“Sleep now, my friend. Your rest is much earned.”

And with that, Jamie shut her eyes.

————

Hours passed. Night crept into morning, the wee hours of darkness before dawn. Miles and Flora had long wandered back to their rooms, leaving Jamie to her rest.  
And now, she began to wake from a dreamless sleep, unsure of what was stirring her, but compelled and more alert by the second. As she began to make sense of her surroundings, she looked down at her hands. They were not the wrinkled veins of an old woman, but the calloused hands of a young gardener.

Removing the covers, she found herself not in a nightgown but rather denim overalls, her old work uniform.

“Well hi there.” 

The voice pierced the silence of the room and shot straight like a lightning bolt into Jamie’s heart.

There, in the corner of the room, ethereally blue in the half light of the moon, sat Dani. Dressed in a sweater, jeans, and boots, her hair pinned back, with a simple, patient smile, her eyes both blue and bright. She sat cross-legged, tapping her foot in the air, as if she had been there forever, patiently waiting for Jamie to wake up.

“D-Dani? Is it…Poppins, is it really you?” Jamie asked, overwhelmed, too much so to leap out of the bed as she felt like doing. Instead she slowly sat and then stood up, as if half expecting this to be another dream. Dani stood from her chair and moved closer to her.

Without a word, Dani pulled Jamie in for a long, deep kiss. A kiss that could only begin to make up for 40 years without them. Dani pulled away but kept their foreheads touching, holding Jamie’s face in her hands.

“God it feels good to do that again,” she breathed. Jamie let out a laugh and kissed her again through tears.

“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

“I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t come see you. But you know why…”

“Shh. I do. I know. But you're here now.”

“I’ve always been here. Always. You know that.”

Jamie nodded. 

They kissed again. They stayed together, eyes closed, breathing each other in for a minute longer. Jamie took Dani’s face in her hands, studying it, marveling at it. She draped a hair behind her ear.

“Don’t look a day over eternity. That lake has been kind to you, eh?” Jamie joked. Dani burst into a bright laugh. Jamie couldn’t believe she was hearing that laugh again. It made her grin and giggle and cry all at once.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Dani replied. Suddenly, a realization occurred to Jamie. Of what it meant that she was here, that Dani was here. 

“So does that mean…” Jamie began. Dani nodded and nudged her head in the direction of the bed. Jamie turned and saw herself, the body she was leaving behind, worn from decades of work and devotion. A life well-lived. A life that Jamie knew she would have given up in a second had Dani appeared to her too soon.

She turned back to Dani, their eyes afresh with tears.

“So…what happens now?” Jamie asked.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” 

“Anything with you. Everything. Forever.”

Dani smiled. “Well…the sun’s about to come up. Why don’t we start there?”

The wives, still wearing their rings, took each other’s hands and made their way through the house and out the front door. The sky was only just beginning to brighten, the first birds chirping.

Jamie led Dani by the hand toward the sea. Unable to feel the sting of the salty air or the pinch of cold at dawn, still they sat down in the sand and huddled close.

For all the years they spent without each other, all they wanted in this moment was silence. All they needed was the feeling of the other’s presence, and all the love that had never wavered even once, not even in death.

As the first hints of gold began to appear, Dani looked out in wonder at the changing horizon. But Jamie couldn’t move her gaze from the woman beside her. The woman she had waited for, who had been with her all this time, waiting just as long for her.

Dani felt Jamie’s eyes on her and turned to face her. Without another word, they leaned in for another kiss. In this was every promise they had ever made to each other, unbroken after all this time.

When they parted, they held each other as tight as they could. Dani whispered in Jamie’s ear the words that had once meant freedom and would again.

“It’s you. It’s me. It’s us.”

And soon enough, the sun rose over an empty beach, no soul or spirit for miles. All at peace.


End file.
